I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
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