Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Randomize
