i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
