I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
