I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
