Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
