you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
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