you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
third nipple confirmed
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Randomize
