It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
