The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize