all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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