there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
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