we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
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