omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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