I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.