apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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