wanna go halves on a baby?
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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