What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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