I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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