you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
These 25 Rude People Ruined Movies for Everyone Else
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
23 Cringeworthy Responses to “I Love You”
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.