I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen