Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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