Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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