Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.