Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (540): Also thongs make me have to fart a lot. http://tfl.nu/ra92
  Replies (5) Good night (637) Bad night (4098)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story. http://tfl.nu/dytn
  Replies (25) Good night (996) Bad night (3567)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (313): The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car http://tfl.nu/lq42
  Replies (40) Good night (4884) Bad night (1218)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (480): he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug http://tfl.nu/z2q2
  Replies (6) Good night (1111) Bad night (4799)
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (267): she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it" http://tfl.nu/pya0
  Replies (46) Good night (1906) Bad night (9503)
• Favorite

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (501): Turns out vomit takes off spray tan. http://tfl.nu/8hd7
  Replies (10) Good night (817) Bad night (4949)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (770): The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com http://tfl.nu/sswj
  Replies (38) Good night (1288) Bad night (3103)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American. http://tfl.nu/y4zk
  Replies (8) Good night (2778) Bad night (828)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (949): So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam? http://tfl.nu/9cgv
  Replies (18) Good night (2878) Bad night (1095)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra. http://tfl.nu/ud2y
  Replies (8) Good night (1135) Bad night (342)
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (780): Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it http://tfl.nu/2d0a
  Replies (1) Good night (791) Bad night (239)
• Favorite

  (623): View more from Arizona

  Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (623): Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff. http://tfl.nu/snvk
  Replies (8) Good night (1334) Bad night (291)
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (586): Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at. http://tfl.nu/sdak
  Replies (2) Good night (298) Bad night (685)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  Woke up backwards on a recliner

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): Woke up backwards on a recliner http://tfl.nu/fx1p
  Replies (1) Good night (500) Bad night (257)
• Favorite

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (952): We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor. http://tfl.nu/wqik
  Replies (1) Good night (572) Bad night (177)

Randomize