You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
