my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?