Small penises have feelings too.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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