Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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