White coat. Heels.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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