dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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