i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
