YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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