so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
