Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
