I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
