You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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