i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
