Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
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