Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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