Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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