Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
