I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
