I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Randomize
