he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
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