I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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