I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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