Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
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