I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
