someone threw a dead crab at me
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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