thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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