fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
