holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
