True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Who died my cat blue again?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize