Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I looked at my own cervix.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
