2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
