No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
