I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
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