just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
My vagina just recognized that song.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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