i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
30 People Reveal The Moment They Realized: ‘Oh Sh*t, I’m An A**hole’
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
30 Tiny Celebrity Tattoos You’ll Want To Run Out And Copy ASAP
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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