Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Naked Twister starts at high noon
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?