Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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