im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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