You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
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