carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
