found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
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After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
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the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Im part way to drunk.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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