yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
